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I have just finished reading a lovely fiction book called The Quality of Silence by Rosamund Lupton.

Basically it is about a young girl who is deaf.  The  story takes place in the Alaskan wilderness which is in the middle of the arctic winter and there is no sunlight.

Sometimes when I read a book it can leave me thinking for a little while and making comparisons with my own life, and this book is no exception. Although  the young girl uses sign language, she comes into her own by writing on her laptop, it has become her voice of expression and opens up a whole new world to her.

When I think about my own life, I can very much relate to her but in a different way.  For whatever reason, from when I was a young child I was never able to speak out, tell people how I felt, never really able to express myself in any way at all.  I was locked inside this world of unspoken words, frozen inside.   Many things stayed inside of me. I was often described as being quiet and kind.

As I grew older this didnt change, except when I drank alcohol which seemed to unlock my mouth, then EVERYBODY knew I was around. But alcohol wasn’t the solution, it only added to the problem.  That’s another story.

Over the last ten years or so an enormous door has opened for me, in the form of writing. I couldn’t stop. It was as if a big dam had burst inside of me and the words flowed out and they kept flowing out. I wrote poetry, journals, diaries (which maybe is the same thing), I went on facebook and loved it, and through the guidance of a friend I started my own blog.  I write letters, I tweet. I write to God, I write in any shape or form I can.

Through my writing I have found my voice, and I can express myself very clearly.

I will add that I can now verbally  express myself as well. Although sometimes it may come out in an inappropriate way if I am upset.  But I am certainly not locked inside of myself any more. Through my writing I have met the most amazing people and I am experiencing a life beyond my wildest dreams.

What was a disability for me has now become my greatest asset.

I write and I love it.

 

Barbara