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So Easter is here and  it has crept up on me again. As I get older the days seem to be rolling by more quickly now, like the sand falling through an egg timer as it is getting nearer to the end.

I feel comfortable with all of this. Life seems to be more sedate these days. And I am more content within myself. I don’t seem to run after things the way I used to. It feels more like life IS , and it is as simple as that.

At the moment I feel more mellow.  Maybe like being in the Autumn of my life. I love the balance that seems to be there after living a very out of balance life, and happiness for me is being on my own and in relationship with myself and God.  I feel complete. It isn’t there all the time, but when it is I am at peace.

I was reading a few scriptures a little while ago, The Beattitudes.  The thought that came to me straight away was ‘The How to be Attitudes’. Funny the things you think of isn’t it?

I find there is a season for these bible verses. They talk to me at different times. Tonight it was “you’re blessed when you are content with just who you are – no more, no less. That is when you find  yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought”.

I feel like that at the moment.

I used to look for life in the bottle, people addictions, (i still struggle with food), but now I find that I am the owner of myself. A strange phrase but I know what I mean.

The Spiritual life and my ongoing passion with learning more about God is the anchor that holds my life together now. I am fastened to the rock that can withstand anything.

It has taken years but I finally know God as my friend, which is the gift we have been given through Jesus. A journey that began very slowly over thirty years ago.

I no longer fear death. It is just a door we all have to go through. Since mum died, it no longer feels like a stranger or something to be feared. It is just a part of life as living is. I will leave this body. Maybe like stepping out of a car when I have reached my destination.

I will not  be alone, there will be others waiting to greet me.

Barbara