To step back into time I need God’s love with me, and for some reason I have felt to start writing about my life.
When I look back, I cannot say I had an unhappy childhood, in fact those early years were full of so many good things. Christmas , Easter, day trips to Blackpool, Llandudno, Raby Mere, New Ferry Baths, New Brighton funfair and the beach. So many good things.
And as far as I can remember twice yearly trips to London to visit my grandparents. This was done on the over night coach. It was so exciting. We would leave on a Friday evening and catch the 11pm coach from Woodside, arriving at London Victoria about 6am the next morning.
I always loved it.
In later years I dreaded coming back.
But in spite of all of this I was an anxious child and terrible worrier as far back as I can remember, and maybe showing early signs of what later was to become full blown alcoholism.
You see, I am an alcoholic and during my very early years I had a strong love of chocolate and could be very sneaky and selfish trying to get my hands on it and when I did, I was loath to share it.
I am still like this. Last week when I was in town I bought a very nice chocolate bar from Wilko’s and as I was walking through the bus station to get to my bus stop, I saw dad standing there.
I shoved the rest of the chocolate in my mouth and swallowed the lot before dad could see it.
Once I start on chocolate a tremendous craving developes, I have to have more and more and I wont share it with anyone.
You see Alcoholism is in the person and not in the bottle. So this was the first indicator that I was a walking bonfire waiting for the fire to be lit many years later by Alcohol, which I came to love and depend upon.
Eventually it took away everything I had.
So those early years had many happy memories, but unbeknown to me and my family the storm clouds were gathering up ahead….