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To step back into time I need God’s love with me, and for some reason I have felt to start writing about my life.

When I look back, I cannot say I had an unhappy childhood, in fact those early years were full of so many good things. Christmas , Easter, day trips to Blackpool, Llandudno, Raby Mere, New Ferry Baths, New Brighton funfair and the beach.  So many good things.

And as far as I can remember  twice yearly trips to London to visit my grandparents.   This was done on the over night coach. It was so exciting. We would leave on a Friday evening and catch  the 11pm  coach from Woodside, arriving at London Victoria about 6am the next morning.

I always loved it.

In later years I dreaded coming back.

But in spite of all of this I was an anxious child and terrible worrier as far back as I can remember,  and maybe showing early signs of what later was to become full blown alcoholism.

You see, I am an alcoholic and during my very early years I had a strong love of chocolate and could  be very sneaky  and selfish  trying to get my hands on it and when I did, I was loath to share it.

I am still like this. Last week when I was in town I bought a very nice chocolate bar from Wilko’s and as I was walking through the bus station to get to my bus stop, I saw dad standing there.

I shoved the rest of the chocolate in my mouth and swallowed the lot before dad could see it.

Once I start on chocolate a tremendous craving developes, I have to have more and more and I wont share it with anyone.

You see Alcoholism is in the person and not in the bottle. So this was the first indicator that I was a walking  bonfire waiting  for the fire to be lit many years later by Alcohol, which I came to love and depend upon.

Eventually it took away everything I had.

So those early years had many happy memories, but unbeknown to me and my family the storm clouds were gathering up ahead….